Realizing he may have Narcissistic Traits!
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So many people are talking about narcissism these days, and I HATE to label people or categorize them into a group of people who are being labeled as worthy to be cast away and ostracized from relationships!
As a Christian, this is a very hard predicament for me!
However, since 2018, as I have become aware of Narcissism Personality Disorder and the traits that are associated with it, I have been forced to come face to face with the realities that it is now essential to be able to recognize and understand these "symptoms" and "characteristics" before, during, and after a romantic relationship with someone who may be displaying behaviors that are confusing, at the least, and toxic, unhealthy, and abusive, and even sometimes dangerous - at the most!
As a divorced single mother, with children, I had not idea when I reentered the dating scene, in 2022, that I would be encountering so many men who exhibit these characteristic traits AFTER WEEKS of seeming to be completely in alignment with my lifestyle, values, and even faith. It's been quite a journey to say the least!
Fortunately, I am passionate and intentional about "cracking the code" on this phenomenon, for myself and others, and I have been documenting my dating, relationship, and research journeys and have been assembling this information to help "get to the next woman before he does"! LOL
I remember vividly, the first man I truly felt I fell in love with, after my divorce, and believed could marry, started behaving in ways that started getting me off balance emotionally. All I wanted was to be sweet and loving and give him my best self - and so I was hesitant to bring up things, but as I did, his response wasn't adding to my emotional safety and security - but making it worse. I could not figure out what to do. People close to me, who knew my divorce story, would suggest that perhaps I attracted another narcissistic man, like I had realized my ex-husband was, but I was adamant this was not the case.
Over time though, as I became more and more familiar with narcissism, as I shared my divorce story to encourage other women, it became more and more clear that the current man I was dating to marry - was also likely a narcissist!!!
One day, after I was still coming to terms with the possibilities, we were in a phone conversation, and instead of me becoming emotionally entangled with his manipulation and strategies - I suddenly started to recognize what he was saying and putting it into categories in my mind. This was a turning point for me. Blame-shifting! Deflecting! Rage! Denial! Lying! and on and on. By the time I pulled into my driveway, I felt a since of relief, although heartbroken, to realize that I wasn't crazy, my friends were spot-on, and he indeed was displaying narcissistic characteristics.
This didn't mean it was an automatic dealbreaker for me, because I still struggle with severing ties with those most deem as "unloveable", but it at least helped me realize what I was dealing with so I could move forward more empowered with what decisions I did have in front of me to choose from.
I hired a therapist to get clarity and she confirmed my suspicions and even suggested he may have Cluster B personality based on the information I had shared with her.
How was this possible?
Fast forward, and I have continued to date, and unfortunately, yes, continued to attract different men who have different personalities - but many have still led to this narcissistic outcome. It's been quite frustrating and discouraging.
While I have friends, and see strangers, who are vowing to stop dating and just be single rather than deal with the drama, I have the desire in my heart to love and be loved in a healthy romantic relationship and partnership. I do not want to remain unmarried, if it depends upon me. And so, I have been working to "crack the code" and learn how I personally can recognize these traits sooner, understand the psychological and spiritual warfare that is involved, and get out faster, and also heal sooner - essentially becoming more resilient - NOT bitter and hopeless! LOL
Want to join me?
If so, I have a wonderful community of women who have already come alongside me as we work together to explore these situations and help each other discern and date.
There's room for more! And I'd be honored if you'd like to join us!
Check out the Narcissistic Traits Defined Product here.
It’s 💯 FREE and contains over 50+ Narcissism Related Terms to help educate, equip, and empower you, or a friend you know who needs this!
Take good care of your heart!
♥ Rachelle Suzanne
